Have any misunderstandings about you caused rejection in your relationships lately? I don’t know about you, but at this time of year, relationships often come with being misunderstood. Where do misunderstandings originate and what can we do about clearing them up to restore relationships?
Misunderstandings Affect Relationships
We’ve all tried to do the right things in life, yet our good intentions can be misunderstood. Parents who try to raise their children right by teaching the commandments diligently can be misunderstood as being legalistic or forcing religion upon them. Misunderstandings between spouses can cause suspicion or jealousy, which can lead to a wedge in the relationship. Misunderstandings about the intentions of business relations can mean missed opportunities and lost deals. Misunderstandings of why the poor need help may mean we don’t open our hands and meet their needs. Misunderstandings about why elders take tough measures with a member of the congregation can lead to division.
We do the best we can at keeping the festivals of YHWH as written in the Scriptures, honoring the Messiah, for the festivals are all about Yeshua (Col 2:16-17). So I don’t let anyone judge me, for in Messiah there is now no condemnation (Rom 8:1). But my kinfolk just don’t understand why I don’t keep the biggest Christian holiday of the year. Among our faith community are many who don’t understand why others keep the festivals the way they do. Bill Cloud often points out that more than anything, people grumble over festivals and food. It’s human nature to be set on our understanding.
How can we overcome misunderstandings and disagreements among us? You may agree that we must start by communicating with each other with humility before Elohim.
Misunderstanding the Type of Messiah: Joseph
Our most righteous forefathers, like Joseph, were often misunderstood and rejected. Joseph’s brothers thought that the favored son of their father Jacob was trying to set himself up to take charge of them when he told them about his high-minded dreams of them all bowing down to him. Joseph’s ‘coat of many colors,’ in Hebrew ‘ketonet’, was a long-sleeved garment that represented the authority of a high priest for intercession, but was misunderstood to be a mantle of tyranny over the whole family. The brothers may have been envious of his elevated status because they did not understand that YHWH Elohim had a plan to use Joseph as the ‘savior of the world.’
The ten brothers took care of that little problem by casting Joseph into a pit and then selling him as a slave. They then deceived their father Jacob to believe his son was slain by a wild animal. The bereaved father had to live decades of his life with the horrible misunderstanding that the beloved son of his beautiful wife was gone for good.
Down in Egypt, Potiphar misunderstood why Joseph’s garment was in his wife’s hands, thinking he had sexual intentions for his wife. During a long period in prison, Joseph carried the weight of misunderstandings, rejection, and being forgotten.
Through the trials, Joseph must have given himself completely over to YHWH, casting all his cares upon the One Who cared for him. In prison, Joseph couldn’t clear up any misunderstandings with anyone. In prison, Joseph was powerless to right any wrongs. Only His Father in Heaven could do that; and that He did – His way and in His timing.
All the misunderstandings and rejection in his life worked humility in Joseph so that at the right time he would be exalted to the place of authority at the right hand of Pharaoh. In the end, misunderstandings were cleared up, his family was restored and his childhood dreams were then understood, becoming amazingly true to the glory of God.
The Misunderstood Messiah in Isaiah 53
He wasn’t the right sort of Messiah.
Like one from whom men hide their faces, he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Isaiah 53:3
Twice in verse 3 Isaiah foretold that His people would despise our Lord. That goes beyond rejection to a kind of settled hatred. They saw His suffering but reckoned that He could not be the promised Messiah.
‘We esteemed him not ‘means something like, ‘He’s a nobody to us.’ The Hebrew word means to calculate or to reckon something, to add up all the facts, and to come to a settled conclusion. The Jewish leaders added it all up and decided that Yeshua was worth only thirty pieces of silver. So they bribed Judas who betrayed Yeshua, Who was crucified by the men who despised Him. At the time, who understood the value of His precious blood?
Yeshua was truly the misunderstood Messiah. His people misread him completely. They had him in a box labeled ‘Insignificant Rabbi from Nazareth.’ The more He proved He didn’t belong in that box, the more they hated Him, counted Him a nobody, and ultimately despised Him. They saw Him as a threat to their control over the people, their power base, and their income. No wonder they were so rabid to kill Him in the end.
The Misunderstood Messiah in the Book of Mark
Throughout the Gospel of Mark, we can see the theme that Yeshua is the Messiah, but that those who meet Him do not understand this fact (see Mark 4:10-13). Who knows that Yeshua is the Son of God? The Father in Heaven knows this, because He said so at Yeshua’s baptism (Mark 1:11). Evil and unclean spirits recognize Yeshua in this Gospel when they encounter Him (Mark 1:24 & 3:11). So what were some of the misunderstandings among the people whom Yeshua encountered?
- His friends said He was insane – Mark 3:21
- The scribes from Jerusalem said He’s possessed – Mark 3:22
- Listeners at a synagogue said He’s just a carpenter, Joseph’s son – Mark 6:1-6
- His closest disciples didn’t understand Him – Mark 4:41; 6:51-52; 8:15-21
After Mark 8, Yeshua is exasperated when He says,
“How is it that you do not understand?” Mark 8:21
The disciples are still confused, but it is at the center of Mark’s message when it’s all about to change, and they will begin to see and understand exactly Who Yeshua truly is.
Following this question is the key to understanding the portrayal of Yeshua in Mark’s narrative. The sequence of related events begins with one of the most important healing stories in Mark 8:22-26 – the account of the blind man who has his sight restored by Yeshua in a peculiar but a meaningful way.
The healing of the blind man takes place in stages; the only miracle in Mark that takes place in this manner. When Yeshua is asked to heal the man, He takes him by the hand, leads him out of the village, spits on his eyes, and asks if he can see. The man replies that he can, but only uncertainly, for he says, “I see men as trees, walking” Mark 8:24. Yeshua then lays hands upon the man’s eyes and looks at him, and he begins to see with certain clarity. This unique healing has to do with recognizing the Messiah.
In the very next story, the disciples, who until now have been blind to Yeshua’s identity (Mark 8:21), gradually begin to see Who He is, in stages. It begins with a question from Yeshua:
“Who do people say that I am?” Mark 8:27.
The disciples reply that some think He is John the Baptist brought back from the dead, others that He’s Elijah, and still others think Yeshua is a prophet, man. Yeshua then asks,
“But whom do you say that I am?” Mark 8:29
Peter answers and states, “You are the Messiah.”
The Pivotal Moment in the Gospel of Mark
Up until this point, Yeshua has been misunderstood by everybody: religious leaders, His family, His friends, and even by His disciples. Someone finally sees Yeshua for Who He is: the promised Messiah. He then tells His followers to not tell the people Who He is. Some call this “The Messianic Secret.” Messiah Yeshua knew that the revelation of Who He is comes in stages, according to the timing and work of the Holy Spirit.
Still, Peter’s understanding that Yeshua is the Messiah is only partial. For Peter has begun to see Yeshua for Who He is, but he has a ways to go still! The reader of Mark knows this to be true because of what happens next. Yeshua begins to teach His apostles that he:
“must suffer many things, and be rejected of the elders, and of the chief priests, and scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again.”
Mark 8:31
Yeshua is the Messiah, but not the kind of Messiah Peter is expecting! This teaching is confusing to Peter. He goes from hearing from the Spirit of Truth one moment to the preconceived ideas of the adversary the next; so Peter rebukes Yeshua (Mark 8:32).
Why would Peter reject Yeshua’s teaching approaching crucifixion? Could it be because he misunderstood what the Messiah should be? Peter used the term ‘Messiah’ differently, the way most Jews in the first century did. They understood the Messiah to be the deliverer of Israel, a man of military might, power, and ultimate authority. As the conquering king, He would usher in God’s kingdom, destroy the authority of the Gentiles, and establish His rule. It was the prevailing view of the day.
But this was only part of what Yeshua would do and certainly something that was to be in the future. Yeshua was so much more than a king who would deliver the political kingdom of Israel! For the Gospel writer Mark, Yeshua is the Messiah who must suffer and die so that He may bring salvation from sin to the entire world.
To not understand Yeshua’s role in the salvation of man, is to miss the entire point of His mission. The idea that the Messiah had to suffer first may have seemed illogical to most Jews of Peter’s day, including Yeshua’s apostles. But in Mark’s view, to understand Yeshua in any other way is to give in to the temptation of ha’satan. Thus for Peter, he begins to see Yeshua for Who He is, but not completely. Like the blind man, the believer’s sight would come in stages. Can you see that now with the views of believers?
The Misunderstood Messiah in the Gospel of John
Yeshua went around explaining what the Kingdom of Heaven was like and what His mission was in simple terms and real-life parables. Yet Isaiah had well said – having ears they couldn’t hear and having eyes they couldn’t see. Mankind has a hard time understanding the Messiah.
Think about the Messiah as misunderstood when you read the Gospel of John. The Jews asked Him for a sign after being upset about Him driving out the money changers from the temple. (John 2:13-22)
Yeshua then says: “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it.”
They immediately misunderstood Him to be talking about the temple where He had just overturned the tables. But He spoke about the temple of His body.
Even His disciples didn’t understand what He had said about Himself until after He had risen from the grave –
So after He was raised from the dead, His disciples remembered that He was talking about this. Then they believed the Scripture and the word that Yeshua had spoken. John 2:22
Yeshua was misunderstood by even those closest to Him until the very day He died on the cross. Not even His closest disciples would stick with Him. After His death, Peter and His buddies misunderstood the whole campaign to be a failure. So they left the work of spreading the good news and of advancing the Kingdom of God on earth.
What did His disciples decide to do instead, based on their misunderstanding?
Simon Peter said to them, “I’m going fishing.” “We’re coming with you too,” they said. John 21:3a
That night Yeshua met His disciples and did the miracle of the great catch of fish. He then cleared up their misunderstanding and turned them around back to fishing for souls.
Another time Yeshua was misunderstood was when He talked to a Pharisee named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jewish people. Our Rabbi told him not to be surprised, but that he must be born from above, born of the Spirit. Nicodemus didn’t understand this and asked,
“How can these things happen?” Yeshua answered him, “You’re a teacher of Israel and you do not understand these things?” John 3:5-15
Even Nicodemus, a ruler and a teacher in Israel, didn’t understand what the Master Teacher was talking about. Why not? Yeshua explains:
“Amen, amen, I tell you, ‘We speak about what we know and testify about what we have seen. Yet you all do not receive our testimony! If you do not believe the earthly things I told you, how will you believe when I tell you about heavenly things?’” John 3:11-12
In the Book of John, the people kept misunderstanding and sometimes even rejected what Yeshua said or did. When we are misunderstood, we can take heart in the fact that even our Master was constantly being misunderstood and rejected by His brethren. We’re certainly no greater than our Lord at explaining what we mean and sharing our revelations. We too get persecuted over misunderstandings. But if we continue to bear the fruit of the Spirit, like patience, longsuffering, and self-control, eyes will be opened!
The revelation of the Messiah as divine is not clear until the testimony of Yeshua is recorded in the Book of John. The last Gospel starts with clearly saying He was the Word, the Word was God and the Word became flesh and dwelt among us (John 1:1,14). But it wasn’t until near the end of this Gospel, after the resurrection of the Messiah, that anyone calls the Messiah ‘God.’ Thomas understood Who He is when he put his fingers in His pierced hands and side for he then said: “My Lord and my God!” (John 20:28) If it takes stages of revelation for the misunderstandings of a ‘doubting Thomas’ to be cleared up, then how about others of us who don’t seem to get Who He is quite yet?
How many times in our learning of Yeshua and His ways do we find ourselves, like Peter, seeing, but only partially? How many times have you read a scripture, and only later in another reading, found its true value for you? Perhaps you were under the influence of the Spirit in a different way, or you were crying out to Him for help concerning a problem that is vexing you. Whatever the reason, I believe we are all like Peter or Thomas at certain points in our lives. Yeshua meets us where we are. He always reaches out His hand, stretching us, while encouraging us to see things more clearly through His eyes.
Understanding the Messiah and Each Other by the Spirit
Yeshua came to declare the Kingdom of Heaven in earthly terms, yet the only way we can understand what He teaches is by the Spirit of Truth. We need the gift of the Holy Spirit, to understand the Kingdom of Heaven and Messiah’s mission to the world.
The woman at the well misunderstood that Yeshua was not talking about a well like her forefather Jacob had dug, but came to understand that He was talking about a spiritual well within the soul. (John 4) Yeshua was constantly talking about spiritual things, about the Kingdom of Heaven, was repeatedly misunderstood, but gave revelation in stages.
Paul explained the necessity of the Spirit to understand the divine Messiah:
Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit Who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God, which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining spiritual thoughts with spiritual words. But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised. But he who is spiritual appraises all things…
1 Corinthians 2:12-15a
So if the Messiah was misunderstood when He walked the earth, how can we understand His words and His mission in our day according to Paul?
John the Baptist answered this question when his disciples couldn’t understand why Yeshua’s disciples were baptizing.
John answered and said, “A man can receive nothing unless it has been given to him from heaven.” John 3:27
Yeshua told Peter that flesh and blood had not revealed to him that He was the Messiah, the Son of the Living God, but that the Father in Heaven had revealed it to him.
So how can we get people to understand our faith? Pray for them and wait on the Holy Spirit before we speak. Let the Heavenly Father reveal spiritual things to them, understanding that we may be misunderstood like Yeshua and the disciples were.
For Yeshua said:
“But when He, the Spirit of Truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come.” John 16:13
Yeshua doesn’t need all His disciples to have golden tongues. Moses didn’t. Certainly, He speaks through His servants, some are skilled orators, but others are not. Let’s acknowledge that at first, we may misunderstand what others may say no matter how articulate they are. Know that we will often be misunderstood at first when we share our faith. Later, the Holy Spirit will guide everyone into the truth of the matter step by step.
So as we now know no one according to flesh, but even if we have known Messiah according to flesh, yet now we no longer know Him so.
2 Corinthians 5:16, LITV
How are to we know each other then? After the Spirit of Truth, not after the outward appearance. Knowing each other after the outward breeds misunderstandings and stereotypes. Let’s try to put ourselves in the other’s shoes and try to understand others from their perspectives. Let’s seek to know each other after the spirit, not after the flesh.
Everyone’s story is different. But each of us, like the Messiah, the Son of Joseph, learn obedience through the things that we suffer. Obedience to what?
Obedience to the death on the cross – the cross that we are told to pick up and follow Him with, once we’ve denied ourselves of what the sinful nature in our flesh demands of us. A circumcised heart is not hopelessly bound to give in to temptations. A circumcised heart is free to resist the strongest of temptations and can be free from sin.
Anyone who has suffered misunderstanding and rejection and whose hopes and dreams are lost can find freedom from bitterness and hope for a bright future in the Messiah.
Lessons Learned From Misunderstanding the Messiah
Do not put Yeshua in a man-made box. Do not demand that He meet your expectations.
Admit that we don’t understand Him or His ways fully. We all have a lot to learn from Him.
Do not put a brother or sister in a stereotypical box. Do not try to persuade them to meet our expectations of what they should think, say, or do. Leave that up to Abba; do not play the Holy Spirit with others.
Do not despise Him, nor His people. Do not think that He doesn’t matter, nor that your brother or sister does not matter.
Do seek to understand Yeshua, and also our brothers and sisters in the Messiah.
What will you do with Yeshua?
David
